just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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