Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
