She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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