My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
