This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
