Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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