its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Best friends brother. Beat that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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