Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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