You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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