I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
