I could have mohawked her pubes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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