so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
