We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize