I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
