Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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