She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
