We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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