ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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