talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She bit a glass in half.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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