I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this boner is exhausting
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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