He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
