Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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