Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I stole a fireplace last night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is Oprah even human
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
