..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
