I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize