yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
