"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
