I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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