bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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