i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
