after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There r osticjed everywhere
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
