i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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