Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
