I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
