We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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