Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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