It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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