Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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