508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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