i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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