the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
