I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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