Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
