i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
