Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
