absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
