Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
