Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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