After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
