please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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