drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the day after is always just damage control
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
