All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize