Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
