Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
