just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
