Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
