Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
