I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
