the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
