spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
