My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
