I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
