You just made me feel so damn special
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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